The Nightshift Before Christmas Page 9

  Okay. Well, that explained that.

  “Your son Chris has some pretty serious injuries. Maybe we should sit down so we can talk through them before I take you through to Recovery.”

  “Recovery?” Mr. Klausen’s face was twisted in incomprehension. “What do you mean?”

  “He’s really been hurt?” Tears sprang to Mrs. Klausen’s eyes.

  “Yes.” Katie shifted her tone. The Klausens would need a gentle touch now that the fog of displacement was beginning to clear. Rage, anger, even disbelief were common when the worst thing that could happen to someone actually happened. Particularly when it came out of the blue.

  “Why don’t we all take a seat and I’ll talk you through the surgery Chris has had? Then we’ll get you up to see him and Nick, who is with him, as soon as possible. No doubt seeing you both will be the perfect medicine.”

  She hoped no one could see the fingers she crossed in the depths of her lab coat.

  * * *

  Josh eased the locker open with yet another surreptitious over-the-shoulder check that he was alone. Subterfuge hadn’t been his initial plan of attack, but it seemed alone time with Katie was going to be hard to come by, so he was going to have to find just the right pocket to tuck his wrapped present into.

  He was hit by Katie’s scent in an instant. She’d always smelled like fresh linen with a teasing of vanilla. He gave himself a moment to close his eyes and take a scented trip down memory lane.

  A noise further down the corridor jarred him back into action. Winter coat or...? What was that? In the very back of her fastidiously tidy locker, behind the hanging lab coats and winter wear, was a grainy black-and-white printout. The image of their little girl hit him straight in the solar plexus. If kissing Katie on the roof had brought back everything good about their marriage, seeing the last fetal scan they’d had of their baby girl brought back the blackest.

  “What are you doing?”

  Josh whirled around at the sound of Katie’s voice, the sheen of emotion blinding him for just an instant. His hand shot protectively to his hip. He’d turned too sharply. Abrupt turns always gave him a stabbing reminder of how far he’d pushed the envelope. Why Katie had asked him to leave. Why he was here.

  To make a smart move. For once.

  Katie’s eyes flicked from his hip to his eyes. He saw the questions piling up in her deep brown eyes and the flicker of her decision not to ask.

  “What are you doing in my locker, Josh?”

  He heard the tiniest of wavers in her voice—but her body language told another story. Hands curled into fists on her hips. Mistrust laced through those dark eyes of hers. Her chin tilted slightly, as if daring him to confirm all her worst fears.

  He’d gone too far. Just as she’d predicted.

  “Even angry, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  She stepped back, shocked at his words. He was a bit, too, but he meant them. Her face still carried the broad features youth afforded. Full lips. A cute little gap between the two front teeth that had rebelled against the years of expensive orthodontics she’d once confessed to enduring. It made for a slightly crooked smile that lit the world up when she unleashed it. Something she wasn’t even close to doing now, from the looks of things.

  “Josh...” Her smooth forehead crinkled. “Are you all right?”

  “I—uh...” He swung his gaze back to her locker, still holding the wrapped package in his hand. The pendulum of Tell or Don’t Tell bashed the sides of his brain.

  You were right. I should never have taken up motorcycle racing.

  You were wrong—you always needed me.

  He thrust the tiny package forward so it sat between them like a buffer against all that was going unsaid. “I know it was supposed to be secret, but... Merry Christmas...”

  A rush of emotion crossed her face, darkening her eyes so that they were near black.

  “I didn’t...I don’t have anything for you.”

  “Well, it was the luck of the draw that I got your name in Secret Santa.” He hoped the white lie wouldn’t come back to haunt him. “It’s not exactly as if you were expecting me to turn up in Copper Canyon, now, is it?” He laughed softly, hiding a swipe at his eyes with a scrub along his forehead and a finger-whoosh through his hair.

  Her expression softened.

  “Are you going to unclench that thing or do you just want me to guess?”

  He released his grip and let the small box rest on his palm. His eyes narrowed a bit as he watched her reach out to take it. The paper was crumpled. Worn, even. He’d wrapped that thing up the day after she’d thrown it at him and told him she’d had enough. Waiting...waiting for the perfect moment.

  He cleared his throat when her fingers gained purchase on the box, her skin lightly skimming across his. He couldn’t even remember how many times he’d imagined this moment. Her response would trigger a chain of events that would either make or break him.

  She withdrew the box from his hand. He felt the absence of its weight and her touch instantly. Maybe ignorance was bliss. As long as he didn’t really know how Katie felt about him, he could believe there was hope. Believe he’d never have to put his signature to that ragged pile of papers he’d been dragging around in the same backpack as the little box she was now slowly unwrapping.

  The dawning of recognition wasn’t far off. He’d used the same box the rings had come in. Placed them—engagement and wedding—side by side. The rings they had bought with downright giddy smiles wreathing their faces and the last handful of notes and coins they had between them.

  There were only two other times when he’d seen her smile as much. Their wedding day and the day they’d found out she was pregnant.

  Katie’s expression became unreadable. That hurt as much as no reaction. There had once been a time when he could have told anyone her mood before she’d walked into a room. They had been that connected. Genuine soulmates.

  “Oh...” It came out as a sigh. “Josh...” Beads of tears weighted her lashes as she held the box open, her eyes fastened to what lay inside. “I can’t do this. Not right now. I just can’t do this.”

  She turned on her heel, all but knocking Michael off his feet as he entered the locker room.

  “Everything all right?” Michael pulled off his glasses and gave his eyes a rub.

  “Yeah, sure.” No. “She probably just got paged or something.”

  “Mmm...”

  Michael seemed to take his response at face value, which came as a relief. Fatigue hit him like a truck. Heavy and unforgiving.

  “Say, Dr. West... Would you like to have a coffee or something later?”

  “What? Tonight?”

  “No, no. Just before you hit the road again.”

  “Like a debrief?”

  Michael’s forehead scrunched. “I guess...”

  “Sure thing. Just grab me next time you’re free.”

  He gave him a gentle back-slap as he pushed the door back into the corridor open, smarting at Michael’s words. The icing on the cake! So much for his fairy-tale moment when Katie slipped her rings back on her finger and his life became whole again.

  He fought the urge to punch the wall. It hadn’t done anything wrong. He had. He’d made a complete hash of giving Katie the rings and now Michael wanted an exit interview. Fan-freakin’-tastic.

  His eyes shot up. More mistletoe. Merry Christmas, everyone!

  CHAPTER SIX

  “DR. MCGANN, WOULD you mind signing these...? Hey, are you all right?”

  Jorja skidded to a halt, openly gawking at Katie. Her go-to neutral face obviously wasn’t cooperating tonight.

  “Of course,” Katie answered briskly. “What can I do for you?”

  “Before I go I just need your signature on these re
lease forms for Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.”

  “The parents of the little girl? The one who had the nephrectomy?”

  “Yes, that’s the one. Luckily they just had a few cuts and bruises. Nothing serious. So they want to head up to the Pediatric recovery ward. Hey!” Jorja’s face split into an impressed grin. “I heard you aced that baby!”

  Katie’s heart tightened at the choice of words, but she couldn’t stop a shy smile in return. She had done well. And Josh had been right. She didn’t need to be pinned down by her grief. Just needed to learn from it and move on. Eyes forward was a lot healthier than always looking over your shoulder at the past.

  She scribbled her signature on the forms and told Jorja where the Wilsons would be able to find their little girl. They must be frantic to be with her. Hold her small little hands. Kiss those soft cheeks of hers.

  Katie’s fingers tightened round the ring box in her pocket.

  “I’m just going for a quick power nap. Are you off for the night?”

  “Yup—me and my five thousand relatives are meeting up at Midnight Mass. Spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, uncles, aunts—you name it. And little ol’ me. Late, as usual, and all on my lonesome!”

  “There’s plenty of time for that.” Katie smiled and gave the nurse’s arm a squeeze. She was pretty, vivacious, and would be a great catch for the right man. One with lots of energy. Heaven knew, her brothers were busier than an online dating agency trying to find her a beau, if all the staff-room gossip she’d caught was anything to go by. “You have a good time with your family, Jorja.”

  “You too, Dr. McGann.” Jorja’s eyes widened as her lips opened into a horrified O. “I mean—keep manning the ship like you always do! It’s what you always do, isn’t it? Meticulous Dr. McGann!”

  Jorja’s face contorted into an apologetic wince as she thudded her forehead with the heel of her hand.

  “Stop while you’re ahead?” Katie suggested.

  “I think that’s best.” Jorja pulled Katie in for an unexpected hug with a whispered “Merry Christmas” before skip-running back down the hall to the main desk, her tinsel scarf trailing behind her like a glittery red boa.

  Katie stood and watched her for a moment, slightly envious. Not of her youth—she was only a few years older—but of all that was yet to come for her.

  She eased open the door to the residents’ room, grateful to see the two beds were empty, and dropped onto one of them with a sigh of relief. Double shifts were never fun—but today had been particularly taxing. Physically and emotionally she’d been through the wringer. Seeing Josh...? That alone was enough to send her into a tailspin. But on Christmas Eve... The night they’d lost their baby girl...

  She twisted the small box round and round in her fingers until finally daring to open it again. The night she’d hurled her rings at him... Well...sensibly placed them on the counter—hurling things had never been her style... That night had been like ripping her own heart out.

  She fumbled in her other pocket and pulled out her phone. Yes, it was super-late—but if she knew Alice, there would be no begrudging an after-hours call.

  The phone rang a couple of times and Katie grinned, remembering the silly ringtones Alice had kept putting on her phone when she hadn’t been looking.

  “Hello, angel...” a sleepy Alice answered.

  “Hi—sorry. I know it’s late, but—”

  “It’s all right, darlin’. I’m just watching the dying embers of the fire. What’s that little scamp done now?” Alice cut to the chase.

  “He gave me back my rings.”

  Katie heard Alice rearrange her position on the sofa, or wherever she was. “What? For good?”

  “Well, I presume so.” She hadn’t got that far yet.

  “On bended knee? Or with a scowl in a Here, let’s have done with it kind of way?”

  “Well...” She’d been so annoyed at seeing him in her locker it hadn’t even occurred to her that there might have been a plan. “There wasn’t a bended knee—but there wasn’t a scowl either.”

  “So,” Alice said in her perfunctory Irish way. That meant any number of things, and in this case Katie was guessing it meant What the hell are you going to do now?

  “I don’t want to give them back.” The words rushed out before she’d had a chance to edit them.

  “In a good way? Or in a Fine, you’ve done your business now let me get on with mine kind of way?”

  Katie laughed. She loved this woman. There were incredibly few people she’d let into her heart...well, okay, Alice and Josh were really it...and she’d missed speaking with her.

  “I was sorry to cut you off earlier.”

  Alice didn’t wait for Katie to explain herself.

  “I know it’s a hard day for you, and there was me prattling on about my daughter and all. It was thoughtless. What you both went through, losing Elizabeth like you did...I can’t begin to imagine.”

  “It wasn’t thoughtless.” And Katie meant it. “It’s...it’s life. And other people have it.”

  “What? Are you saying to me you don’t have your own life?”

  Um...a little bit?

  “No.”

  “My goodness. Is that Katie McGann all grown up now? Are you telling me you’re done hiding away in your idyllic mountain village, pretending you’re the only one to have ever gone through something awful?”

  “Say it like it is, why don’t you?” Katie muttered.

  Alice let her stew for a moment.

  She looked down at her hands and realized she’d been fiddling with her rings during the call and had unconsciously slipped them back into their rightful place. On her left hand’s ring finger.

  “Well?” Alice had never been known for her patience.

  “I’ve not been hiding. I’ve been...thinking.”

  “Thinking about getting on with your life or thinking about hiding away there forever?”

  “Thinking about letting go.”

  “Of what, exactly?”

  Katie lifted her hand and eyed the rings in the half dark.

  “Fear?”

  “That’s a good way to start the New Year, love.” Alice’s voice was soft, but then it took an abrupt turn. “But don’t go hurtling yourself off of a mountainside with a couple of fairy wings for support.”

  Katie laughed again.

  “I will be sure to have on full reflective gear and the entire mountain rescue crew on standby if I ever do such a thing.”

  “That’s my girl. Now, let me get some sleep and I’ll speak to you soon, all right? I love you.”

  “I love you, too. Merry Christmas, Alice.”

  “And to you, angel. And pass on my love to the rascal, won’t you?”

  Katie nodded and said goodbye. She rolled onto her side, putting her left hand in front of her face, flicking the backs of the rings with her thumb again and again, even though she could see they were right there.

  All the emotion she’d been choking back throughout the day abruptly came pouring out of her in barely contained wails of grief. If she was going to let go of fear, she was also going to have to let go of the sorrow that the fear had been protecting. Sorrow over the family she would never have. The child she had only held once. The husband she loved so dearly that the thought of losing him all but crippled her.

  She was so consumed with heartache she barely registered the door opening and the arrival of a pair of male legs appearing by her side. She rocked and cried as a pair of familiar arms slipped around her, holding her, soothing her.

  Josh.

  Of course it was. He knew her better than anyone. Knew she would need him.

  After all this time apart, he was finally there for her in the way she had longed for. Present. Still.

  He slipped behind her on
the bed and gently pulled her into his embrace so that she could curl up in a tight little ball, chin to knees, arms tangled through his, fingers pressing into his shoulder as if her life depended upon it.

  There were no whispered placations. No There, there or It’ll be all right. They might love one another, but how could he assure her about a future they would never have? Neither of them knew if anything would be all right...if they’d have the big family they both longed for. If they’d be together at all.

  When at long last she was all cried out, Josh eased them down into a seamless spooned embrace. For a moment she thought to fight him. How could she trust this? This deep, organic comfort she had longed for during those cavernously dark days? The weight of her fatigue decided for her. She was so tired, and lying there in his arms...the one place she’d always found comfort...she began to feel the release of dreamless sleep overtake her.

  It would be all right. Just this once.

  It was Christmas.

  Her body instinctively snuggled into his. She heard his breath catch as her own steadied. With his arm as a pillow, she became tuned in to his heartbeat, to that warm, spicy scent she would know until the end of time, to his strength. Her own body hummed with a growing heat. A sense of familiarity and comfort.

  One night.

  There’d be no harm in that. Right? Just one night before they said goodbye forever.

  She felt his fingers stroke along her cheek, then slip down along her arm so that their fingers were intertwined. It was what she needed. To simply...be. Without hope or expectation. Just some peace. Some sleep. Some long-awaited comfort in her husband’s arms.

  * * *

  Josh moved his hand along an upward curve. What the—? He waited another moment until his brain caught up with his hand. It wasn’t a pillow he was caressing. It was his wife. And that sweet scent wasn’t hospital antiseptic... It was the ever-mesmerizing Essence de Katie.

  He nuzzled into her neck, instinctively tipping his chin to drop a kiss onto her shoulder. He stopped himself, then decided just to go for it. It was Christmas Day and Katie was asleep.