The Nightshift Before Christmas Read online

  Without warning she suddenly flung herself into a snowdrift and began moving her arms and legs as rapidly as she could. She needed a snow angel—and fast.

  Josh had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts he’d walked on a few steps before realizing Katie was no longer by his side. When he turned round, he hooted with unchecked laughter. There was his proper-as-they-come wife, looking like a frenzied wild woman. This was going to be the least peaceful snow angel ever created. Snow Tasmanian devil?

  Katie abruptly stopped swinging her arms and legs, her eyes locked on Josh so intently it felt like a make-or-break moment. He opened his mouth, then shut it again.

  Katie’s hand shot out. “Aren’t you going to help me up?”

  “Of course.”

  He reached out his arm and felt himself being yanked into the snowdrift. His boot slipped on a skid of snow Katie had smoothed into angel submission and he fell with a thud onto his bad hip.

  Containing the howl of pain was impossible.

  “Josh!” Katie pushed herself up, a horrified expression playing across her face. “Are you all right?” She began issuing instructions. “Lie back. Breathe steadily. Follow my finger.”

  He batted away her hand. “I’m fine.” He was still hurting and just needed a minute.

  “Josh!” Katie’s voice broke as her fingers ran along his cheek. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t.”

  Yes, she had. But not in the way she thought.

  He could be mean right now. Cruel. Because that was what it had felt like when she’d left him. Just about the cruelest thing anyone had done. But he’d known Katie hadn’t left to hurt him. She’d done it to save herself. Save herself from a man who’d seemed intent on self-destruction. And here was a sign of that self-destruction for her to bear witness to.

  Terrific. Everything going according to the Great Win Back Katie Plan? That’s one big fat tick.

  He smoothed his hand along his hip and gave it a rub, made sure everything was still in place. Ditto for the knee.

  “Help me up?”

  “Of course.” Katie scrambled to her knees, shifting a shoulder under his to help him up from the snow. “What happened there?”

  “Just lost my—” He stopped himself. No more lies. “I had an accident.”

  He felt Katie tense beneath the weight of his arm, but she just mmm-hmm’d him and waited for him to continue as they both pushed upward.

  He took his arm off her shoulders when they were standing and gave himself a little wriggle of a once-over. Head, shoulders, knees and toes all in working order. Haphazard as they were.

  He tipped his head in the direction of the chapel. “Shall we get in the warm?”

  “Do you need a hand?”

  He couldn’t tell if she was furious or concerned. Probably both.

  He shook his head and they walked on in silence. Josh concentrated on working the kinks out of his hip as Katie visibly struggled with the thousands of questions that were no doubt playing through her mind. She’d begged him again and again not to get hurt. Told him that she didn’t have the strength for it. And here he was—giving her evidence that her decision to leave because he was too hell-bent on pushing the envelope had been the right one.

  “So...” Katie prompted, unable to wait anymore. “This accident. Was it a bad one?”

  “Something like that,” he admitted, ignoring her exasperated sigh. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know. I just need to sit down for a minute, all right?”

  The chapel came into view as they turned the corner. It was a pretty little thing. Clapboard, white as the snow, with a green trim, he thought, though it was difficult to tell in the dark. Twists of fairy lights had been spun round the two evergreens flanking the front door to the chapel, and there was enough snow on the steps to tell him no one had been inside for the past few hours. A large and intricate star was shining at the very top of the church. He would have laid money on it being visible near enough everywhere in the valley.

  Katie stepped up onto the entryway first and gave a relieved smile when the door opened. “Thank goodness for small-town security systems.”

  “I don’t know if Gramma Jam-Jam even had keys.”

  “She had neighbors. Same as keys. Were you...?” Katie hesitated.

  He shook his head, knowing where the question was heading. “I wasn’t with her. One of my biggest regrets.”

  A huge mistake not worth making again.

  “I’m sorry,” Katie said with genuine feeling. “I know how much you loved her.”

  “Yeah, well...I seem to be chalking up valuable lessons left, right and center these days.”

  They stood face-to-face, there in the quiet of the church, their eyes saying more to each other than they could ever say aloud. Love. Pain. Regret. Josh could have ticked them off one by one and kept going. He hadn’t been joking. All he needed to do now was prove he had learned from those mistakes.

  “Let’s go light a couple of candles.”

  “What?”

  “C’mon. Over here.” He tipped his head toward the far corner. “Let’s go light candles for Gramma and Elizabeth. We’ve never done that together.”

  Katie eyed the end of the church where the candle table stood, her head making the tiniest of shakes back and forth.

  He wove his fingers through hers. “C’mon, darlin’. Isn’t it time we sent our little girl some light—seeing as we’re together? Sent her a blessing at Christmas?”

  “I don’t want to say goodbye!” Katie’s words all but echoed through the small church.

  Josh pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “It’s not goodbye, Katie. I didn’t say anything about goodbye.” He pressed a soft kiss onto her forehead before holding her back at arm’s length so he could look at her. “Think of it as her mother and father saying hello. Letting her know we’ll always love her.”

  Katie began to nod her head. Slowly at first, and then in a pronounced yes. She would never, ever in her heart be able to bid her daughter farewell. But hello? She could say that again and again. And yet without Josh she hadn’t been able to say anything to her daughter. It hadn’t seemed possible. And now here he was—her big ol’ country husband—making the hardest thing in the world one of the simplest and most beautiful.

  Hand in hand they approached the small table. Josh lit a candle for his grandmother, and then both of them lit Elizabeth’s. As the flame flickered and gained purchase, Katie felt an emotional weight shift from her chest—the light of the flame was offering her a lightness of spirit she wouldn’t have believed possible.

  The moment lengthened and absorbed them both in its glow. Katie tipped her head onto Josh’s shoulder and felt his head lightly meet hers. They’d both lost their little girl. It was right that they were doing this together.

  As they watched the candle flicker and flit alongside the one meant for the woman who would have been her great-grandmother, Katie could almost picture Gramma Jam-Jam up there in heaven—wherever that was—teaching Elizabeth how to make apple pie. As she swiped away a wash of tears, she was astonished to realize there was a soft smile on her lips.

  Was this what it took? Being together with Josh again? Josh, who still hadn’t told her why he had howled like an injured wolf when he fell into the snow.

  “Right!” Katie clapped her hands together a bit too loudly. “Shall we take a pew? Hear all about this big bad accident of yours?”

  Josh’s heart squeezed tight as he heard her trying to lighten the atmosphere. He was surprised she wasn’t a fuming ball of I-Told-You-So.

  He wandered a few aisles down and chose a pew, patting the space next to him for Katie.

  She sat down next to him, but kept her eyes on the front of the church, where garlands were still stru
ng across the apse. A simply but beautifully decorated Christmas tree twinkled away in the half-light.

  “It was a motorcycle accident.”

  Katie sucked in a sharp breath and tightened her jaw. If the light had been better, he would have seen if those were tears that had sprung to her eyes or if it was just the wintry light.

  He reached across to take her hand, and though she didn’t turn to meet his gaze, he was relieved to feel the soft squeeze of her fingers. He had to keep reminding himself...she cared. She loved him. She might not like him very much—especially right now—but she loved him. It was worth fighting for.

  The words began to pour out. “It was meant to be a Saturday-morning ride. Just a few guys out for a run—before traffic built up.”

  “But...?”

  “But it got competitive. The roads were tricky. In the mountains up north of Boston.”

  He saw Katie wince. She knew the ones. They’d used to take breaks up there whenever their hectic hospital schedules would allow. When she’d finally taken those first days of maternity leave.

  “We were riding the switchbacks and a logging truck came down the center of both lanes. It was veer or—”

  He didn’t need to paint the full picture. She was an intelligent woman. Move or get mashed was what it had boiled down to. And he’d moved.

  “No one else was hurt, so there was that to be thankful for, and one of the guys was an EMT—he made sure I kept my—”

  “Kept your what?” Katie whipped round to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  He brushed them away with a thumb. “My left leg. It’s good. He knew every trick in the book. I hit some dark moments during recovery, and going through airport security is a bit of a bells and whistles affair these days—but I’m all good, Katie. I’m here.”

  “How long were you in the hospital?”

  Josh sucked in a breath as he did the mental arithmetic. “About seven months. Maybe eight.”

  “ICU?”

  “For a lot of it.”

  “Internal damage?”

  “Some.”

  Katie’s fingers flew to her mouth. Josh could have died. He could have died and she would have been none the wiser. She’d left no address, no clue as to where to find her. Strict instructions with Alice never to speak of him again. Nothing. For a moment she thought she was going to be sick.

  “What happened when you got out?”

  “I roomed with a few guys. Doctors. Long enough to know what an idiot I was to let you walk out the door.”

  “And your motorcycle?” She registered his words, but needed more facts.

  “Hung up my helmet, sold the Jet Ski, my snowboard—you name it. I realized life was a bit more important than what I’d been calling living after you left.” He laughed. “You’ll love this.”

  Her eyes widened. What exactly would she love about her husband’s traumatic motorcycle accident and harrowing recovery?

  “I’ve taken up yoga.”

  He watched her take in this new slice of information then reshape her face into something a whole lot happier.

  “You’re going to yoga class?”

  All right. It was a tone of pure disbelief. But he’d take that over a telling-off for the motorcycle crash any day of the week.

  “Three times a week. Sometimes four!”

  “In Boston?”

  “No, Katie.”

  He cleared his throat. Spilling this piece of news was going to be almost as rough as telling her about his accident.

  “What?” She poked him in the arm. “What?”

  She poked him harder when his eyes started taking an unnecessary journey round the small church. It was clapboard. There were pews. And a Christmas tree. C’mon, already!

  “I can tell when you’re holding back information. Where have you been? What happened to our—the house?”

  “I rented it out.”

  “What? Why?” She pulled her hand out of his, clasping her two hands together over her heart.

  “Are you kidding me?” Now it was Josh’s turn to look astonished. “Live there without you? Sit in those rooms knowing the chances of you walking back through the front door were nil to—?” He sought for a word that meant less than nil and threw his hands up in the air instead. “There was no chance of me staying there once you walked out that door, Katie. Absolutely none.”

  She suddenly missed her nickname. It had rankled when he’d first used it, but now...why wasn’t he? Wasn’t she his Katiebird anymore?

  Her stomach churned and she could feel her hands shake even though she was pressing them tightly together.

  Was he finishing things between them?

  She blinked and stared, her body and mind not comprehending what exactly it was Josh was saying to her. She felt the backs of his fingers shift away a stray lock of hair, then give her cheek a gentle stroke, and she watched his lips as he continued to speak.

  “My life was with you, Katiebird, and then you—you left. What else was I meant to do?”

  Katie’s eyes shifted back up to Josh’s and she just stared at him, hands still clasped as if they were the only things holding her thumping heart inside her chest. She had left him. She’d thought of it as saving herself, but in doing so had she destroyed Josh? Her eyes took in his beautiful face, the strong shoulder line, the chest she’d used as a pillow more than once.

  The pounding in her heart began to drown out what Josh was saying. She could see him speaking, but the words weren’t computing.

  Okay. Regroup.

  Katie ripped through the index cards in her mind to make sense of things. Reorder what she had believed to be true. Reimagine the last two years.

  It hit her—almost physically—that what had enabled her to run away was the knowledge that Josh would always be there. In her mind’s eye she had vividly kept Josh on the porch of their sweet little house, with its tiny little porch and tinier backyard, where their daughter would be old enough to ride on a swing about now. How they would have got a swing into the backyard was beyond her, but if anyone in the world would go to any lengths to make his little girl happy, it was Josh.

  Leaving had been self-preservation for her—but in saving herself had she destroyed Josh? She swallowed. This was going to be so much harder than she’d imagined.

  “If you haven’t been in Boston, where have you been?”

  CHAPTER NINE

  JOSH TOOK KATIE’S hand between both of his and tugged it over into his lap, forcing her to scooch in closer to him. Were they going to do this? They were going to do this. There would be a serious amount of beans spilled tonight.

  They both felt her pager go off at the same time. Mutual looks of dismay passed between them as Katie pulled back and unearthed her pager from beneath the snow coat, the sweater and finally her tank top.

  She took a glance at the small screen, then immediately dialed in to the ER. A few “Yup...yup...” then a rattling of satellite coordinates and a “Got it...” later, she stuffed the phone back into her bag.

  “We’ve got to go.” Her expression was pure business now.

  “Tow truck should be here any minute.”

  She shook her head. “No. It will take too long and we have to go by helicopter anyhow. Did you notice an open field near where the truck hit? We’re going to have to meet it there in five.”

  “Helicopter? We?” he repeated, as if he hadn’t heard either of the words before.

  “We are going on a helicopter to help a woman give birth on a gondola.”

  “A gondola? When did Copper Valley become Venice?”

  Katie snapped her fingers before tugging up the zipper on her winter coat. “Earth to Josh! The gondolas that go from the ski resort down to Main Street! Copper Canyon’s ingenious way to tr
ansport its punters to and from the valley has broken and there is a woman in labor. You’ve got to help her.”

  “Me?” Now Josh was fully alert.

  “Yes,” Katie answered perfunctorily, turning toward the door. “I don’t do deliveries. Not since...” She skipped over the explanation. “A tree hit the power lines and took out the power for the gondolas. They’re trying to get a generator up there, but that could take hours—”

  “Wait a minute,” he interrupted. “How are you suggesting I get myself up to this gondola if it’s dangling somewhere between Copper Peak and the Valley?”

  “You’ll get winched down.”

  “No.” Josh shook his head. He wasn’t being contrary. He just couldn’t do it.

  “They’re short-staffed at the hospital, Josh. You’ve done a run in Maternity. You did more winchman training than anyone I can call. Who else do you suggest perform the obstetrics on this?”

  “You.” There wasn’t even a hint of a waver in his voice.

  “You’re stronger than I am.”

  “And with the metalwork in my hip and leg, I don’t get winched into airborne gondolas. I’m not up to the gymnastics. You are.”

  “But—!” Katie didn’t even know how to finish her protestation. Every rug she’d believed had been cushioning her feet just a few days ago was being ripped out from under her.

  “But what, Katie?”

  Josh had her full attention now. Medical emergencies were not something she was wishy-washy about, and something wasn’t sitting right.

  “I haven’t been able to do a delivery since—”

  There was no need for her to finish the sentence. They both knew what she was talking about.

  “Right.” He took her hand in his and headed for the door, already hearing the distant hum of the helicopter on approach. “Today’s going to be the day that changes.”

  * * *

  Ten minutes later Katie and Josh were watching the ground disappear beneath them as they hustled themselves into flight jumpsuits, secured their helmets and rapidly scanned the small body of the search and rescue helicopter the hospital shared with the emergency services. Bare-bones equipment and no spare staff. It was suck-it-up-and-get-on-with-it o’clock.